James Toward

James … I wish you good luck in your hearing, apparently slated for later this month (April 2009). I think what you have written here should be read by all whose lives were impacted by the alleged events at Glendale, back in the Eighties. I remember only too well the panic of the times, and the way in which so many of us (parents) were caught up in the horror of it all.

It was impossible to know whether what we were hearing was real, or not – my personal experience consisted of a phone call from another parent, begging me to get my three children “evaluated by a therapist” as soon as possible because “it looks as though every child at Glendale has probably been involved, in some way, in what went on there”! And, this was a parent who was a supporter, in the beginning!

Despite conflicting thoughts, I felt – naively – that there was nothing to be lost by taking the children to the therapists, Jean Ralicki initially, then Dr. Tesson – though it became clear, thankfully all too soon, that my children were more intimidated by the therapy itself – one of them dissolving in tears, after a visit with Dr. Tesson declaring “Mommy, it’s so scary to think that you can’t remember something so bad you can’t remember it” I recall the feeling of shame, immediately, that I’d subjected them to this. I had sat in on most of the sessions with Dr. Tesson, and concur that there was simply nothing to uncover. I was reading the same books, knew all about what was going on across the country, and found myself in a state of suspended disbelief much of the time. I think Dr. Tesson was a victim of his own belief system, just as caught up in the furore as the rest.

I belonged to a “support” group of Glendale parents who were pretty much in the same boat as myself – torn between disbelief and dubious conviction – mostly convinced that the behaviors of their own children could be attributed only to the reported events at the school.

It was the worst of times. The rumour and innuendo that circulated was insane. Gossip and speculation presented as truth – I know this because I frequently took it upon myself to go to the root of “he said/she saids” to try to get at the truth for myself. Many of use behaved as if we were completely mad. We withdrew our childen from Camp High Rocks in the Carolinas because it wss represented that “the Cult” was reprogramming our children while they were there! I know of two parents who actually went out under cover of darkness to keep watch on one of Dr. Tesson’s patient’s home because she was so convinced that members of a Satanic Cult were visiting her on nights of the full moon! One of them actually “bugged” a local nursery school hoping to catch the teachers in the act of molesting children. One family was so persecuted that it became “common knowledge” that they held Satanic rituals at their home, and were probably at the root of “everything”! One parent dug up the grounds at the school, looking for tunnels and hidden graves. It was “reported” that a case of chloraform was found in the attic, and so on. But, for all of it, the nagging reality in the back of my mind was always there “but, we were DROP-IN PARENTS, always showing up at the school, unannounced, day in/day out”! It was part of the attraction of consigning your child to Montessori – you could always be “hands on”. I can’t ever remember being discouraged. So when, I would ask the support group, could the children have possibly been “kidnapped” and taken off campus for nefarious purposes?

It was a time of total insanity, and though there are few of us who maintain contact today, only too happy to lets those times fade into obscurity, I often wonder how many there are who, like me, feel that it was all some sort of mass hysteria that infected our community even as examples to the same happened all over the country. I often wonder when are the children themselves likely to come forward and recant? Probably never, I think. As you pointed out in your poignant essay, the majority were probably so damaged by the therapy itself that the time is to be a terror for them, one way or other, no matter what. Frankly, I can’t believe that there have been so few retractions. I’ve read every publication on the aftermath of those times I could get my hands on. And though there is plenty to hear from the accused, there is little from the accusers; the children OR their parents.

To my own children, it’s become a sort of “urban legend”, though I’ve expressed my feelings about what happened (or what I believe never happened) and encouraged them to contact their old friends and classmates via the auspices of MY SPACE and FACE BOOK to see if there is anyone, a “survivor”, who might come forward to shed some light at this time.

I don’t know what purpose this letter will serve, other than to let you know that there’s at least one person who supports the probablity that you are, indeed, completely innocent. I suppose I want you to know how sad I feel for Rosario and Margaret, and for you and the years you have lost. And, indeed for all the rest of us, who got caught up in it, despite ourselves, and whom – however unwittingly – contributed to what happened to you.

Good luck, James.